It appears I have a few shreds left of my culture stuck in me.
I was brought up in Filipino culture and in that culture, "keeping up
with the joneses" is taken to a whole new height. We as a people, are
reputation freaks. Even in our movies you'd hear expressions like
"nakakahiya ka" (you're a shame to the family) or "ano ang sasabihin
nila?" (What will they say).
I'm not as bad as the average Filipino... Otherwise I'd be pulling my hair out, beating myself up, and getting depressed by now... And possibly trying to kill myself again.
But then again, the mere fact I have those vestiges of my cultural
brainwashing left... I need a rebuke and chastisement. And I need to
repent and seek more of the spirit of God.
I cast out those envy and fakeness demons in Jesus name!
If there's people I should be jealous of, it should be the people who
got more of God's righteousness abiding in them. And not people with
career success and material wealth.
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